The first memory I can find is elementary school
As we all showed up the first day.
I remember the smell of new clothes and blue jeans,
From the catalogs the clothes found their way.

I was sort of a non-entity then, so quiet and shy,
Fearful of the world and its ways.
I made very few friends, didn't feel I belonged,
My self-worth was so low in those days.

I remember wishing I could be like some others,
Outgoing and popular with all.
Instead, I was a fearful and lonely little boy,
I was quiet, and skinny, and tall.

My walls were already in place, and I didn't know how
To reach out and be open with friends.
The damage was done to my developing mind,
Not to be undone until thirty-some years ends.

On through grade school, some talent I showed,
But belief in myself I had none.
I floated through life, not even coming close
To the potential I showed anyone.

In high school I improved, but still terminally shy,
Even skinnier I was as I grew.
I could have been popular, I could have been friends,
But I had to share me in order to know you.

It was my senior year, to Denver I'd moved,
Three thousand kids went there, it was new.
In a way it was scary, in a way it was neat,
For I could lose myself in the crew.

I made a few friends, I was a basketball star,
A good student, not an outstanding one.
But I still had problems letting anyone get close,
If they tried, I'd back off and run.

It's thirty years later, and finally I know
The source of my shyness and fears.
I've delved into myself to understand just why
I failed at relationships over the years.

What about you? Have you looked into yourself,
Into the mirror of those days?
What do you remember about who you were then,
And your existence in childhood's maze?