Urban Rancher Publishing

Childhood's Maze
  As he thought about his childhood, he realized that in these memories lie the keys to who he is today, and why he does the things he does. So many memories are locked away, with big voids of time which seem to just be blank, but as he delves deeper, the doors begin to open, and he starts to remember what he was like as a child ...

Poems

The Urban Rancher
My Bike
Childhood's Maze
It's Almost Too Late
Little Brother
Floppy-Eared Dog
Only in Estes
Midlife
Death of an Old Friend
Flowers
The Mirror
McGraw Ranch
The Breakfast Ride
The Steak Fry
The Old Cowboy
The Mummy
The Ride
The Character
Our Steeds
The Garden
The Honeymoon Night
The Perfume
The Last Ranch
Patterns
Our Reunion
Where Are You Now?
The Forties
Mortality
Co-Dependents
Make Some Memories
Reflections
The High Country
How Can We Help?
Skybear
One of Those Days
The Vultures
Looking Backwards

What do you think of, when you look back at life,
Back to the times when we all were kids?
What do you remember of the time you were young,
Before you hit some of life's skids?

The first memory I can find is elementary school
As we all showed up the first day.
I remember the smell of new clothes and blue jeans,
From the catalogs the clothes found their way.

I was sort of a non-entity then, so quiet and shy,
Fearful of the world and its ways.
I made very few friends, didn't feel I belonged,
My self-worth was so low in those days.

I remember wishing I could be like some others,
Outgoing and popular with all.
Instead, I was a fearful and lonely little boy,
I was quiet, and skinny, and tall.

My walls were already in place, and I didn't know how
To reach out and be open with friends.
The damage was done to my developing mind,
Not to be undone until thirty-some years ends.

On through grade school, some talent I showed,
But belief in myself I had none.
I floated through life, not even coming close
To the potential I showed anyone.

In high school I improved, but still terminally shy,
Even skinnier I was as I grew.
I could have been popular, I could have been friends,
But I had to share me in order to know you.

It was my senior year, to Denver I'd moved,
Three thousand kids went there, it was new.
In a way it was scary, in a way it was neat,
For I could lose myself in the crew.

I made a few friends, I was a basketball star,
A good student, not an outstanding one.
But I still had problems letting anyone get close,
If they tried, I'd back off and run.

It's thirty years later, and finally I know
The source of my shyness and fears.
I've delved into myself to understand just why
I failed at relationships over the years.

What about you? Have you looked into yourself,
Into the mirror of those days?
What do you remember about who you were then,
And your existence in childhood's maze?

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Copyright (c) 2008 Urban Rancher Publishing, Revised 18 May 2008